Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Hurricane Slams Into Supreme Court, Devastates Marriage Equality Rally


At daybreak on Tuesday, an unexpected hurricane pounded the steps of the United States Supreme Court building. The storm hit with devastating force where thousands of marriage equality supporters were rallying as justices and lawyers were hearing oral arguments for same-sex marriage inside. While the storm did not affect the proceedings, the catastrophic surprise hit and destroyed parts of the building's exterior, where it killed dozens, heaping damage on nearby buildings and leaving the surrounding roads impassable.

Officials said that according to preliminary reports, there were at least 45 deaths, with 30 alone being homosexuals advocating for same-sex marriage. Emergency workers feared that they would find more dead within the piles of broken witty signs and among people who had been trapped across the street behind the United States Capitol building.

Brian S. Brown, President of the nonprofit National Organization for Marriage, believes that marriage equality supporters have not escaped the worst. He cheerfully stated, "I think there is still damage that can be inflicted on the gays. We don't even know what the worst is." Brown's organization held a rally to oppose same-sex marriage at the same time nearby on the National Mall, but was spared from what has now been attributed to "the wrath of God."

As of Wednesday morning, the storm weakened as it returned to the rally for the second consecutive day. The National Hurricane Center has downgraded it to a tropical storm and district officials expect it to continue for hours until marriage equality proponents leave the area.

The Federal Emergency Management Agency is expected to provide relief to the area around the same time the U.S. Supreme Court issues a decision on the two landmark cases in late June.

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