Monday, March 18, 2013
Schock wins 'Best Bulge' at annual CPAC-kage Awards
"I never thought I'd be back here," republican Schock said in accepting the best bulge trophy Friday night, "And I am, because of so many of you who are here tonight. We hold bulges, not grudges" the representative continued, referring to his snub in the Best Bend category.
While the CPAC-kage awards are an opportunity for republican congressman to congratulate each other on their members, this year the short-list of nominees demonstrated the glaring inconsistencies within the peen voting system. There is an obvious explanation; aggressive marketing and laziness on the part of voters. In an ideal world, shaft voters should take in an interest in the penis as a whole, and not leave themselves vulnerable to the marketing juggernaut that hurtles through congress every year.
Though he may have not gotten his much deserved Best Bend CPAC, Schock took home a win in almost every category he was nominated for, only losing out to Rep. Paul Ryan for Biggest Dick.
Posted by dcinsider at 11:56 AM